Dating Is Not A Numbers Game |
Dating by the numbers is often misunderstood. It isn't about going out every night. It isn't about looking, hunting, or hoping. The numbers game. There are a lot of memoirs out there about dating, but few of them are by men, which is what made "Available: A Memoir of Heartbreak. We all know dating isn't a numbers game. However, if we start to treat dating as a way to form true relationships we may be successful in not.
Am I willing to take accountability for my life and how to create it? Am I willing to invest in myself and take the time to figure out what kind of relationship will work for me?
Am I aware of my likes and dislikes as well as my needs and wants? Can I offer love in return for love or do I need to work on myself and my heart more? Your answers might surprise you. To be honest your own answers will either point you back to your own need for personal development or it will point you to dating in a way that is healthy and meaningful for all parties involved.
Wherever you land on the spectrum is perfect, because you will know where to invest your time. Your time will either be spent dating men who have been prescreened by you for compatibility and chemistry, or working on yourself to get ready for the kind of man you are hoping to find. To bring meaning back to your dating life, you have to remember what your end goal is. What kind of love story do you ultimately want to create for your life?
The point is, the conscious dater is whole already. The conscious dater clearly knows who she is and what she wants, because going out on a date just for the sake of fun is merely a waste of time. The conscious dater seeks compatibility as well as chemistry before ever considering a date.
If you are ready to take personal responsibility for your choices and to be accountable for your actions, then welcome to a whole new world of dating.
She'd lost valuable time in her own career by managing the life of Mr. Yet, the endless nights alone couldn't be soothed by a gorgeous home and gardens with Mr.Dating: It's All In The Numbers
The real problem was with her, not the guys she'd been dating. By sending out opposing messages, she was stuck in a holding pattern. I suggested she allow for the possibility of both, in one partner. A man who was financially stable, yet free to spend time with her.
- So where do quality guys come from?
- The Case For Consciously Dating
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This was a radical concept. She'd never considered morphing these two qualities together. Did such a man exist? In the real world?
She'd never know unless she put her two requests, together. She met her ideal man. Interestingly, when she was "off duty. That night, with no apparent effort on her part, their world's intersected.
Dating Isn’t A Numbers Game, It’s A Skill You Develop
Her former dating experiences had filled in the gaps of her limited thinking. She took stock of her wants and needs. She created an improved version of her ideal. Thankfully, Perry's keen sense of himself never waivers, and he catches himself before he falls into full douche-mode. I won't spoil what happens in the end, but fans of romantic comedy won't be disappointed with how this tale wraps up for our hero.
As a recently divorced person who has dabbled in internet dating, I found this book to be a great look into the mysterious realm known as the mind of the single man.
Seeing how Perry processed his singlehood helped me realize how much timing and state of mind have to do with how well a date goes. It's easy to blame ourselves when a date goes wrong - he didn't like ME; I wasn't good enough; He's got a date with someone BETTER lined up - but reading this book made me see that if a guy doesn't call me back or ask me out again, it might not have to do with his feelings towards me.
Who would have thought that "It's not you, it's me," could actually be true?
Dating Isn’t A Numbers Game, It’s A Skill You Develop | Thought Catalog
But that's a constant refrain in Perry's book - he finds few of his dates insufficient, he's just not looking for a relationship. Though Perry's maturation and insight into the male mind made the reading compelling, most of all I recommend this book because it was really funny.
The quick read had me laughing out loud all the way through. Combine that with a happy ending and you've got just what you want for a summer read.